I went in to see my Dad on my own today. I needed to. It's great to have the kids or someone else along but I wanted to say some stuff to him. Things I could only say to him. So I said them. I told him this is all truly awful. That this is not what I wanted for him. And it opened him up, for him to talk about this journey and what it means to him. It was really good.
I believe you have to say the things of the heart while you can. So I told my Dad again how much I love him and what he means to me. I have been looking through photos this week and found a couple that really capture my Dad.
This is the first one.
It was taken about 4 months after Grace was born. We went went into the city to visit my Dad at his work. We walked around his office and then back down the road to a little cafe. This photo was taken in the cafe with Luka at the table eating a gingerbread man and Grace napping in the pram.
My Dad is not one for big physical displays and so I remember how he held his arm really rigid so I could hold onto it. I felt really safe holding onto his arm as this was his version of a hug. To me this shows the relationship we have. How much I love him and he loves me.