Holding my Dad's hand while my mother reads the Word over him
Hello sweet friends. I hope things have been good in your worlds. I am sorry for the silence, its been a stretch. Dad is still with us but it's not long now. We are preparing what we can but I know that nothing can prepare our hearts for losing him.
He is moving towards Heaven's door and the amazing welcome he will receive. He is starting to struggle to swallow his pain meds so anytime now he could be moved to a morphine pump. At that stage we have up to a week with him so that will be very sacred time.
I want to share two precious stories. More so that they are recorded here forever, than anything else. I went to see Dad on my own. I told him of the slideshow we had made of his life. For the funeral actually but he didn't need to know that. I said that we had chosen a song for the slideshow, one of his favorites "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole. I sang the first line to him "Unforgettable, that's what you are". He looked right at me and said "YOU are unforgettable, my darling". Oh my heart.
Then the other day, I again sat at his bedside. He sleeps so much now, partly as he is so ill and partly from the pain meds. I hadn't seen his eyes for days and I cried out inside to God to let me see his eyes again. My Dad has the bluest eyes you have ever seen. A mix of cornflower blue and ice. Germanic blue eyes- so beautiful. He continued sleeping and then suddenly opened his eyes. He looked directly into my eyes then shut his eyes again and was asleep. This is how I know God is in this. This small sign and a thousand more like it.
We are not alone. Even in the darkest moments when I think about how this is the cruelest way for a man of such intelligence to die, I know that God is good. This world is fallen and bad things happen to good and amazing people. Like my Dad. God never promised us that this life would be easy but He did promise us that He would be with us. And we have the promise of eternity. When my Dad will be restored to full intelligence and capacity and I know that He will be at Heaven's gate waiting for me. He will put his arms around me and call me his "soss" (short for sausage). I can't wait. We just have to get through the next little while.
Please remember us in your prayers, friends. Thank you x