Dec 14, 2013

clinging on

The oncologist says that he should be gone by now. And yet my Dad clings to life. He's awake for about 2 hours a day and is so very tired. It's hard to catch him awake and when we do it's lovely. I told him I missed him and he told that was nice to hear. I wonder what he dreams of? Does he truly know we miss him?

Mostly we are ok. And I think that I have done all the grieving I can while he is still with us. Then something sideswipes me. I opened a book of his a few nights ago. My Dad loves books. He had scrawled his name in the book. In a hurry and with gusto, like everything he does. I ran my finger over the name and I could feel the imprint of the pen on the paper.

I realised that he will never write his name again. Ever. Alive or not, he will never write his name again. Our name is the first thing we learn to write. I have watched the children learn to write their names with such pride. My Dad has lost that ability.

And that is so sad.

 Follow me with Bloglovin'!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...