Feb 11, 2014
mother lion standing down
I am very protective of Luka. Last year was a rough one with judgement and criticism leveled at him from all quarters- close ones too which really hurt. I have got used to being a protector for him.
We were at the dentist last week for a filling. Two of his teeth didn't form enamel properly so one had to be extracted and the other filled. Luka is super squeemish and was also terrified. Memories of the gas mask and theatre experience of when he had his tooth extracted were plaguing him. He could not lie down and eventually the dentist asked me to leave the room. Luka was crying for me as I left.
I stood just out of eye sight and saw Luka spit the water out of his mouth. This infuriated the dentist who laid into him. I wanted to run back and explain his squeemishness and terror but I couldn't. He needed to face this on his own. It was the hardest 5 minutes I have had for a long time. Eventually I came back in and cuddled him as they finished working on his tooth.
In the car I really wanted to tell how brave he had been. But he hadn't been brave at all. So I explained that this time he wasn't brave but next time he could be. I know that I am over protective. But it was so hard not to be.
What helps me to be honest with him is watching the American Idol auditions. Kids audition thinking they are God's gift to the music industry and they are really really bad. I don't want to be that parent. Who tells my child they are something they are not and protects them from everything, including themselves.
But it is hard to let them face the world, friends. Super hard.
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