Mar 6, 2014
I miss my Dad. I can't process much more right now.
I want to share something with you. Something I desperately wanted once my Dad went to his forever home. I wanted him back home with us too in our house. This is an anathema to my culture. We are pale skinned Africans who are of English descent. You just don't do this type of thing. It's never been done in my family. Your loved one passes away and then is whisked off to the funeral home. You can visit (or not) and then you have the funeral.
My Dad came home (open casket) for 3 days before the funeral. Some of you have just recoiled away from the computer screen... that's ok. My sisters literally took a step back when I proposed this last October. It was a big deal but with a husband of Maori descent this is normal. And beautiful. And so very helpful when grieving.
This is so much more about the person and to me about honour. MJ and I received Dad back home the Wednesday before the funeral and it was so good. We sat in the same room and talked to him. We laid out flowers around him and tucked scripture under his arm. He looked so dapper too. My Mom especially wandered in and out of the room, saying goodnight and good morning. Despite being initially nervous she loved it.
My very conservative aunt said to me that it was the best thing we did. She would recommend it to anyone, she said. And if you knew my beloved aunt, that is praise of the highest order.