Our family has a thread of adoption running through it. From MJ's grandfather, to his Dad and to our son- it runs like a golden thread. Unlike years past our adoption is open. A deliberate decision on our part and one we have honoured. It has been tremendously hard at times but at the heart of this, there is a small boy who deserves to know who he is and where he comes from.
This weekend we had our extended-not-blood-yet-family over. Luka stood in the middle of the adults at one point and pondered out loud to his birthmother ..."So... you are my second Mum?" Then after he said those words he looked straight at me for the answer. Without hesitation, and with a heart that is rock solid secure I said "Yes son, you have two Mums". And the day rolled on and enfolded those words and that conversation without pause.
What a victory that moment was. Not for my heart, although I am so thankful for my security. But a victory for a small boy and for us. This is what MJ and I wanted to create with all our hearts, and it's now here. A life for a small boy where he can work out the tricky questions with everyone around him, without fear of judgement, recrimination or causing hurt.
He is processing his adoption and has been for a time. And I guess he will with each new stage in life. I longed for him to be able to ask the questions in his heart out loud instead of internalising them and without fanfare we saw this happen this weekend.
My heart is very glad to see my son so free.
